I am going to lose my mind. Boom, boom, boom... rattle, rattle, rattle. Every fucking day it's like living beneath the Ringling Bros. at some point... and on the weekends, things only get worse. As I sit here to vent, screaming and fighting erupts outside my door. It's completely unrelated to the the circus show... completely unrelated to the x-rated show, and this isn't the first time for this one either. It just kinda sucks because as soon as one show stops, another one will start... and I often wind up very tired because these things wake me up almost every time. I can sleep right through my alarm clock, yet people screaming and my walls and bed shaking wake me up every time. There they go again... time to turn on the police scanner. I'm no longer living by my rules. I'm no longer to do what I please because my space is consistantly violated by these disturbances. I had it better when I lived at home with my mother in high school. Alot better. Dammit, where the fuck is L? I haven't been able to get ahold of her for a few days now... should I be worried about it? I will. I always do in cases like this.

Oh well. If there's one thing that can keep me sane, it's my insanity. Lord knows I need an outlet for it though. That's something that's been very hard to find lately.

Things just do not get much better for me. Another hellish day at work... yay. It's not like I'm having bad days, I just don't want to be there anymore... I haven't for quite some time now, and I think it all has to do with one person. I just want that person out of my life so I can at least feel like I can move on. I really hate the fact that I love my job and feel like there won't be another one like it for me.

I really want to get in the habit of using this thing...

Today sucked. I had a nice little attack at work today and had to leave early... I dont really understand why this attack occured, and I've never had one like this before and it honestly scared the shit out of me. I need to quit that job. It's just not healthy for me to continue to work in the company of people like them. It tears me apart on a near daily basis at times...

I'm just sick of everything right now... nothing new for me really, but like I said, it got pretty severe for me at work today.

Making up for things not yet blogged:
About two weeks ago I spent an evening shooting a really cool production. You could call it a play, but it differs in that there are actual scenes and sets set up in various locations and then groups of people are guided through the whole thing. It does have a decidedly scary theme to it, partly due to it being put on near Halloween I'm sure, but not completely.

Of course, this wasn't my own gig. My pal M had this thing lined up and found himself without a camera so that's pretty much how I wound up involved. I brought along a D8 cam and my 3-chip Hi-8 cam as well as everything but the kichen sink :) "Yes, I _do_ have bricks in that bag."

The weekend after that we went back to the production again to re-shoot some scenes for better audio and to fix as many "technical" problems as was possible. "technically" we had problems, but very little of what we shot the first time was completely unuseable IMO. This is M's gig though, so he's putting it together using a PC and some CG stuff. I hope it looks awesome once it's finished, but at times I was wondering if he hadn't gotten in over his head with some of his ideas for this thing.

TextureTown.com <-- a website for textures used for mapping to... oh I don't know! It's all CG animation stuff that I'm almost completely clueless about! If you're looking for textures to use in this fashion, you might want to check that site out. It's M's site. He's designed it and and gone out and captured/modified all of the textures himself. He's put alot of work into it so I figure I should give him a plug or two :)

test...

Okay... moved it to a different server..

let's see how this works...